All living things have needs; sunflowers need adequate sunshine and enough water to produce a beautiful flower and seeds so the process can begin again.
For humans needs are greater – food, water, shelter, keeping safe, exercise and a means of earning money. There are also emotional needs too such as a sense of belonging, confidence and relationships. Abram Maslow (Hierarchy of Needs model) suggests that each set of needs must be met before the next tier can be reached – but this was 80 years ago!
These days it is recognised that a balance in life is more desirable and Frances Masters (who developed the Fusion© Coaching model) gives us this example:
Security – does your home or workplace feel like a safe place to be? Do you feel threatened by someone trying to control you?
Attention – nobody likes to feel invisible. Those who do not get attention in a positive way may use negative behaviours to get attention. We like to give attention too by reaching out to connect with others.
Fun, family friends – human beings like to be part of a wider group, it could be family, work, a club or church. Isolation is bad for the human brain – a social organ designed to connect with other brains, loneliness is a problem for many people.
Emotional intimacy – having someone who accepts you, warts and all is good for wellbeing. It does not have to be a romantic relationship – an understanding friend, someone you can relax with and be yourself.
Status – people like recognition for a job well done, a little praise goes a long way. There are positive ways of earning respect such as volunteering in the community. Unfortunately others gain status in negative ways – such being part of a gang.
Privacy – although sociable beings it is also good to have quiet time too, to be mindful and listen to our thoughts. Time to read or take part in things that bring us joy.
Achievement – When we make the effort to work towards a goal and achieve it, feel-good hormones flood to our brain.
Control – Being a control freak is not good but one does like to feel in control of their own life. It is important to feel a sense of control over where you are going. Being controlled, confined or bullied will cause us distress.
Engaged – Taking on challenges and learning new things gives us a sense of purpose and makes our lives more meaningful.
The more needs that are met, the more resilient a person will be and able to cope in tough times. During life coaching sessions, a life wheel is completed to identify which aspects can be improved. We look at your goals and break down the tasks into easily manageable steps to help you get there.
To find out more about coaching, give me a call: 0797 4443363